Confidently Wrong

Recently Paulene told me that I haven’t changed, that I’m confidently wrong about new things. Also recently, Spirit told me to keep witness of triggers into negativity and darkness. To observe and learn, then heal.

When Paulene spoke these words to me [and I mean, words are spells by some accounts] it really hurt. I felt as though it was meant to deprive me of the support, love, and joy I’ve found through my journey. Then I recalled what Spirit had told me just a few days previous. To witness triggers. To observe and learn. To heal.

I realize we are each on our own unique journey. In this realm of separateness we must walk our own path. Trying to walk it with another for longer than is called for will only harm both parties.

So, I witnessed the trigger. The trigger was a judgement of where I am. Due to it being from someone I consider a soulmate, someone I believe I’ve walked past lives with.. I went through a series of emotions and thoughts.

1. Hurt. I felt like I had been severely misunderstood and misrepresented.
2. Doubting my Self and my experiences. After the initial hurt, I couldn’t help but begin to think negatively. First about myself, wondering if she’s right.. whether I have deluded myself. Whether I in fact have not changed at all. As I began to wonder what that would even mean, I turned the negativity back to Paulene. I began to think, you know this seems a lot like projection. I’ve been wondering about how correct, or useful, how love-based her interests/beliefs are to her and others. Thinking, maybe some of her self-doubt has weaponized against me.
3. Supported and loved. I remembered Spirit’s guidance. I remembered my truths have grown from compassion and love for myself and others. I remembered that for a lot of us, our journey begins inside our Ego.
4. Trusting. As I started integrating everything together. I considered why. Why is this actually happening. Maybe Spirit needs us to walk separately, we had been sharing so much… but perhaps we’re at a point where we will just get in each other’s way. Perhaps I am hindering her development, I mean.. yea obviously that is it. She said as much. So this event is just Spirit’s way of securing each of us in our own journey – to dispel us of our self-doubts and make moot our judgements.

I can’t say, confidently that I am right about anything. My confidence is trust. I trust that God and Spirit, and any other higher powers of good nature, will guide me. I trust that others are learning the lessons they need in order to complete their life’s contract. I trust that all paths are True.

So, if I’m wrong.. I don’t want to be right. And, if you’re reading this, Paulene, I wonder things but believe there is no ultimate truth in this world. There are only the things that we choose to accept, and those that we do not choose to accept. Like a person’s desire to derive pleasure from being killed – it’s a real thing. My choice is to seek the light while accepting my darkness, and the darkness of others.

May love and compassion reign supreme.