Like many great things in life, it starts with a gut feeling, or more generally intuition, a bit of luck, and a whole lot of chaotic random energy. Since, the universe is a perfect creation, allegedly, and God omnipresent [quantum entanglement] we should expect all things to be capable of sending us messages. So, random chaos could not really be random, though it may still be chaotic from our singular perspective. If all things are capable of being used to send a message or sign, then random events serve as the perfect mechanism for this.
That random song you wake up with playing on repeat in your mind when you wake up. Those moments when I wake up at 4:40, do a bit of thinking, process whatever dream if its still kicking around in the ‘ol noggin, wonder what time it is, look at the clock and see it is exactly 4:44am. Somewhere in there realize I have a song playing in my head the whole time, and that the lyrics match the emotional themes for the dream or yesterday’s events if there was no dream.
Let me tell you about one night I woke up at 4am. I was having a really random dream about a guy [roommate, housemate if you want to be nitpicky] who I had been trying to help.. giving advice.. sending a lot of my love and energy to help him and his son. His son I was able to help, but him.. let’s call him Randy [for.. no particular reason 😉 or maybe there is, you don’t know; and I’ll never say hahaha XD].. So I gave Randy so much advice, and he always seemed really appreciative but ultimately actions speak louder than words. His words, were thus always empty because his actions never changed. This is a story of child neglect, emotional abuse, love, past trauma, addiction, and so on you kinda get the idea. I’m not going to tell that story, cause this story is about a dream. Randy had a gambling problem I found out, which explained why we were being evicted for not paying rent. You see Randy rented the house in his name, and rented the rooms to me and others. Others and me, paid the rent.. or were at least paying the full rent plus utilities to Randy; which I only know because I am a very trustworthy person. This meant Randy had his own income to spend freely and could thus use our rent paid to him to pay rent for the house. After confronting him and imploding the living arrangements and bonds between all the renters and him [He was a recovering drug addict, hopefully still is, and so he’s learned the skills – manipulation, deceit, that sort of thing. He told stories til the bitter end.] I had my full spiritual awakening due to the support of all the other renters and my family – ultimately though, because of Randy. None of that is really the point here though. I had a dream a few night ago, around the whole super blood moon eclipse or w/e-tf. In the dream I was interacting with Randy and the others, looking for my stuff [I left in October, but left my stuff behind for the others to move into a new place; that plan fell apart and a storage locker was used instead. Some of my stuff went missing #backstoryinfo – learning to let go cause it’s just stuff]. So I’m looking for my missing stuff in the dream, and Randy is being aggressive. I don’t remember dreams very well, so that’s about all I got on that. I woke up though, at ~4:38 or something cause it was a few minutes before I looked at the clock on my phone. My phone read 4:43 — 44% battery. Seeing fours incidentally is supposed to mean you have angelic support and guidance. Before I looked at my phone though, I woke up with a song in my head. It was Cold As Ice by Foreigner. Technically Randy was a foreigner, which is mostly just a fun synchronistic coincidence. The lyrics, however, are far more important. In it “You never take advice”, “you’re closing the door, you leave the world behind” (he shut me out, he chose to go deeper into self delusion and secrecy), “you’re digging for gold, you’re throwing away\n A fortune in feelings but, some day, you’ll pay.”. I was researching other human experience waking up with random songs playing (random in the sense I hadn’t heard the song in, probably, months). Figured out that’s a way Spirit communicates with people. And.. that’s when.. I looked at the fucking time dude!
Silly little synchronistic events, like waking up with a song in your head, or suddenly having an idea strike you and then looking at the time. Tiny signs are there to be seen, everywhere. Maybe it’s just the title in a video that you receive a message through – it is your innate knowing that signifies its importance. I’ve found these sorts of experiences happen more frequently when open to the idea of them.
Spirit told me to write 15 paragraphs, so I can’t end it there! I’m only on six! A lot of the signs I get relate to fours in some way. It is really fascinating to find out, after the importance of fours was established in me, that they are signifying angelic support. I was born on 04/04.. April 4th! So, it’s like they’re telling me.. we’ve been here since birth.. right by your side. I always, and I mean always, have trusted my intuition. While this has “led me astray” or done me harm, those always provided me valuable lessons. Like my intuition about Randy was I could trust him, but when he said “I don’t do shady shit anymore” I felt like it was a lie cause it felt too out of place and empty. I trusted him anyways though, because I have faith in people Wanting to do Good and Be better than they are. Randy was a catalyst, to provide me an environment where I would gain a lot more gray, put my radical empathy and compassion into action, and then ultimately bring me to the lowest point I’ve ever been to emotionally. All so that, within the hour of reaching such depths I could be raised out of them. First by my Muslim housemate [at the time; now considered a great friend], born on January 1 (the same year as me; yea I’m obfuscating years get over it) that goes by Mo (a bit like how I always went by Josh I suppose) – but his full name is Mohammad [did his parents even have a choice in the matter, first day of the year and all]. He within that hour got me out of the house to breathe fresh air, and fed me. I felt alone, and he was there to ensure I knew I wasn’t! Next, when I started fearing violence from Randy because I was taking actions to help his son that I knew would make him angry and dangerous to be around. My other housemate Kevin made sure I knew I had his physical support, that he would not allow Randy to harm me physically. Before all that though, I was on a phone call with my Mum and she made it clear I had her financial support and that we would fly me out of there ASAP. Of course I couldn’t just stir up shit and dip on my Good housemates, so I had to stick it out for a week or two until some things were worked out and things began settling down. Randy basically stopped living at the house, he was alone in the house – emotionally, and even physically when his son was taken by a grandparent. The point here isn’t to explain more of that living situation, but to point to the support I was receiving from the universe. This support I felt, turned into a feeling of love, and basically was like my Heart Chakra was ripped open by God and Spirit. Thus began my true awakening, up until then I felt like I was awakening.. cause I was opening up to more and more things like Sophia Hagia, NDEs, life plans, spirit guides, astral projection, and scripture.. really just kind of scratching the surface.
I flew out of the city I was in, on October 29th, arrived Home on October 30th, and slept basically all day.. somewhere in there had a really long bath that felt transformative, and then on Halloween surprised my best friend. My memory is not the best for this sort of thing so the order may be wrong, but I think logically it is correct. Recounted for him the crazy shit storm the last 15 months of my life had been over the course of an hour. As dusk fell, and since it was Halloween and he has three daughters, the 6 of us went along trick-or-treating. Over the next month I visited them a lot, and spoke a lot with the Mom. She, we’ll call Mary, is not married to my best friend, we’ll call Thomas. Mary has BPD, and she struggles with rage and interpreting statements fairly without internal bias. She’s also fairly spiritual, can sometimes see auras, has some catholic trauma, and so I brought her along for a lot of my journey.. or at least made a point of sharing it. Alongside that I was giving perspective to her problems, and advice. She was often out for Thomas’ blood, absolutely certain that he was saying things between the lines. We ate some shrooms in January, and it was a useful experience for them I felt, and for me it was an emotionally charged one. They are my extended family, and their three girls love me for God knows what reason – until they reach their teenage years anyway. Not really any direct thing to say about communicating with Spirit in sharing any of this. I’ll allow your intuition and imagination to guide you to whatever implicit perspectives about communicating with Spirit there are. I’m sure there is a message/sign here for at least one of you, but I don’t know what it is.
Mo had encouraged me to start reading the Quran, and so I checked a copy out of the local library and began. I’ll be blunt, a lot of it seemed like rambling, and the whole eternal punishment stuff was quite repetitive, but I did find two verses that felt extremely important to me specifically. I’ve said it on here before, but I’ll paraphrase it again: Those who persist in their disbelief, they have incurred the most severe penalty. Allah [lord of many [inner] worlds] has placed seals upon their sight, seals upon their hearing, and has sealed their hearts. My interpretation is this. Disbelief is active belief against a thing, which is different from not believing; idgaf come at me english nerds, this feels more true than the dictionary definitions I’ve seen. Disbelief is also a spectrum, therefore so too would be the seals. So, take the heart for example – a metaphor for the ability to feel things deeply. If you disbelieve in another person’s experience, their truth, then you can’t possible feel what they feel – you’ve chosen to close yourself off from that by disbelieving. If you disbelieve signs or messages are real, then you won’t see what I see when I talk about my experiences with Spirit. If you disbelieve things another person believes, you won’t hear what they hear.
So, I began with the Quran. I found that passage, and because of my heart chakra being open to Mo, but also all the people who disbelieve the Quran.. I internalized all that and really took to heart that particular message I stumbled upon. I did not read all the scripture, and I’m sure I’ll find more messages that lead me to Good Truths when I do. From there I started reading the Bible, and my mum [Christina, God bless her heart] believes in Christianity and had told me about a bible study tool she uses. I do not have an ipad, and never will rest his soul, but fuck Jobs [double entendre intended]. I run on Arch, so I looked for a package that would provide me my own bible study tool. I found one, complete with the ability to compare translations of verses; I just wish I could get the CEV translation in it but it isn’t available in the repository [that translation has a few really good unique takes on some verses, which simply feel true]. So I started reading various things in the Bible, I was watching a lot of Youtube on religion and spirituality and needed to read things for myself before I could continue watching some videos. I also at one point read all of Revelations, since we’re in the end times and all! That way I could draw my own conclusions and not be force fed the interpretations of others [This is the way to learn truth].
So, there I am through November and December doing all this reading.. and watching so many videos.. probably two hundred hours worth of videos. Some of it about religion, some of it about Kabbalah, some of it Qabbalah, some of it mysticism, some of it esoteric academia, on down the list into what would likely be classified as pseudo-science. I was going where the algorithm and the random variations took me. I would look at the options and listen to my gut and choose videos that felt right.
My working theory was, and still is, that God’s love dispels erred thinking. That God of infinite love and wisdom, doesn’t forsake any due to their equivalent ability to express that love in subtle ways. In short, I trusted my nature as an ADHD autistic guy to research something to death would as such result in my learning the truth of God, divinity, and spirituality.
All this time I’ve been open to, but unable to communicate with Spirit in any way. Or so I thought, my perception began to change due to the YT recommendations algorithm. It started as really kind of random videos and ended as entirely uncharacteristic and weird. That’s how I was introduced to Tarot.
Tarot has been interesting. It is one thing for other people to believe in such generic cold read bs as mediums and psychics grift us with, but to believe it first hand.. that’s just silly. Yea well the first tarot read I listened to involved a past action I took, and the nickname my grandfather went by, and a simple instruction to listen to some music. You see, I was.. am paranoid. There are 8 billion people on this planet, do you know which ones can watch you but aren’t but maybe are? Right, so I’m a bit paranoid at this time in the past and I decide to write a letter and leave a message behind in case.. I dunno a russian wet work team is given me as their target. Doesn’t really matter why if it is, so the letter is an intention of how to say good bye as I’m presumably dead as of someone reading it. Cause I don’t want to be so melodramatic though, I cloak those themes behind messages to people. This Tarot reading didn’t say anything about this letter I wrote, but it did say an ancestor Ca, Ka, Cal, Kau.. [Cal, Calvin] was encouraging me to listen to music or some vague shit. I had already been thinking about sinking into some lyrics, so I do. I put on a punk playlist, and listen for an hour or two. That’s when I heard the one song that stood out from all the others – although they all had strong messages I received, this one stood out as different somehow. In it, the singer is singing about all the stuff I’m presently feeling at the time I’m listening… complete with the whole letter thing. And suddenly the camera zooms in a bit and I catch another glimpse of the fractal.
The number of ways does seem truly limitless, with which one can communicate with Spirit. It can be as simple and non-intrusive as looking at a clock a few times a week at 11:11 and feeling totally in control of life at an intuitive level of being. It could be a mandela effect memory that triggers something in you. It could be a random moment of revelation. You might be more familiar with more obvious signs of communication like using a voice or having a face, but unfortunately for you Spirit doesn’t come with either of those in these three dimensions. Some may in fact Hear words, and see visions but we all are not made the same. His signs are obvious to those of sure faith. I was communicating via a copper d20 for a while even, up until I rolled 4 [I think, or 3] 11s through the course of a particular day – after that I felt like I understood I was manifesting the results.
If you were reading this to get an idea of how I interface with Spirit, I hope you’ve found an answer or two. I simply try to be open to my intuition, that gut feeling. Intuition, and the rest of the subconscious mind are vital to success. Hopefully you’ve got the gist if you were reading this to learn how to communicate with Spirit – i.e. trust your intuition separate from beliefs.
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